6th march,05

Today is sunday. But yesterday i really have a bad dream that make me scare , i wake up. Yesterday night really can't sleep well and enough. My dream is the most terrible one in my life.

In my dream, i saw i was same as now in my life. But one thing i know that is i get a body check and knowing i got cancer. @0@ !!! But i was unusually quiet to face my life in future 3 months. In that dream, only character is you and mum. Mum sure will know i got sick. However, her mind is thinking she already loss mine, thinking i will be died. Therefore, she won't be so sad. I will take therapy, but the chances of success is not high. I start to plan what i should do, after my death, how about you??Will you be so sad, find other wife or always stay with me? I know i can't told you about i will died in 3 months later. I want to be happy in future 3 months, get the chances to stay with you, do the best to treat you. I will loss my hair, wear the hat, stay in hospital. Nevertheless, i will go to church as usual and go to school. Nothing i want to do more other than that. Finally, mum loss confidence, i can't told you about my sick, i feel so painful. Then, i stay in toilet cry cry cry, there's the only place i can express my emotion. Before you and others, I was so brave to face my sick. But i afraid of lonely, only me go to the final place. Cry cry cry, and painful in my heart, I woke up lying on bed. At that time, i can't judge where i am, am i really got sick? or i still dreaming? Later than, i found i was sleeping only, luckily, and found i can still living and stay with you.......That's what i happy. But this dream is the most real one, and sad one. so tears drops fall from my eyes. That's similar to i went for a journey. I got so me ideas of what i treasure the most

Many times, i dream. I got the sweet sweet one, terrible one, unreasonable one. many many, but i was so tired to dream.